Articles of change

Art of Persuasion - The Reciprocity Rule17/06/2020

In Dr. Robert Cialdini’s famous book “Influence”, he states one of the 06 key principles as “Reciprocity”.!!


Though theoretically unknown to many, it is a technique practiced in society. Ever hear the phrase, “you scratch my back I scratch yours”. Simply explained, that is reciprocity.


Psychologists explain that we are wired since for centuries to pay back our dues and it has become a genetical. When someone does something nice for us, we consciously or unconsciously keep that good deed in mind and when the time comes, we will make it point to return the favor back.


This has become a great technique for influencer's to create connections with people and get what they want eventually. Remember, this technique can be used as manipulation if applied for the wrong reasons.


However, if you wish to be more likable, create better relationships, here are a few simple reciprocal techniques you can use. In depth leanings of reciprocity are done in our programs.


1. In general, remember birthdays


Of the 365 days, the most special day for a person. If you could take the time to remember their birthday , wish them by phone & post a nice message on their social media wall, send flowers or a small gift , take them out for dinner or drink etc, they will remember your nice gesture and will with high probability return the gesture back. Most importantly it gives you a chance to build upon your rapport with that person. With technology advancements, it is hard to miss a person’s birthday.


2. At work, do something nice


At work, its not enough to be the most hardworking. You also must be the most liked. There are many ways you can use the reciprocity rule to be more liked.


• Complement them on their look. (Nice tie, nice shoes, you look lovely today)

• Greet with a big smile.

• Fix a coffee for your colleague while you make one for yourself.

• Say nice things about your colleagues in front of others.


3. With clients


With clients, you need to first be likable before they start to like your product or service.


• Know and pronounce their name properly

• Compliment them (Nice office, love the trophies)

• Find common ground (Same school, same neighborhood)

• Find their interest (Sports, family)

• Take them a little gift (If they like latte, take them one)

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